Paul Burke Training Group
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Beyond training: Looking at learning MI in a whole new light!
Practice Simple Reflections
Learning M.I. can overwhelm people who try to learn it “all at once”. Like learning to play the piano, it’s best to practice your new M.I. approach “one piece at a time”. Our trainers are fond of telling people about “MI chunklets” – small skill sets that can be practiced one-at-a-time, in brief periods (perhaps for a week or so each). In time, as you feel more comfortable with various “chunklets” you can start “stacking” them in practice. That way, over time, you begin playing more sophisticated pieces as it were – by gradually putting all the components
together.
One the most important chunklets required for the competent practice of MI involves the use of Simple Reflection. Some have suggested that “Simple Reflection” is something of an oxymoron – given that there is little that is “simple” about deciding which elements of a client’s statement ought to be reflected, when, and how best to simplify the statement (usually by shortening it as much as possible). Still, everything difficult eventually becomes simple with practice!
So – to kick off a brand-new year of practicing with MI, and remembering how important it is to “KISS” (Keep It Simple – Silly!) – this would be a good week to go back to the absolute foundations of MI and practice with making simple reflections of the important elements of what your client tells you. Once you get in the habit of doing that (and doing it as least twice as often as you ask questions!) – you can then begin to practice “reflecting with strategy”.
Strategic use of simple reflections while you’re working within the Engaging Process involves reflecting on what your client has just said. Next, you reflect upon what words you might offer back to your client to demonstrate that you understand. (By doing this, you also “test out” the accuracy of your understanding and you demonstrate that you are engaging with her point of view and with any “content” that she is offering regarding any particular “topic” or concern. If your client confirms your understanding (by nodding, or continuing to speak without correcting you, or saying something like “yes, that’s what I’m saying (or equivalent) – then you are “on track”. Of course, because you are using simple reflections (not complex), you won’t be worrying about reflecting back various elements of what the client might mean, or how she might be feeling, or the implications of what she is saying. To do so would demonstrate complex understanding (thus the title “complex reflection”) of what your client has said.
Strategic use of simple reflection serves other purposes when formed and offered while working through various other processes with a client. For example, in the “Evoking Process”, if a client were to utter some change talk (desire, ability, reason, need, or commitment), you might offer a simple reflection – just to help your client hear, and be impacted by that change talk a second time. For example:
Client: Yah, I’ve been thinking a lot about looking for work. I’m gonna* dust off the ol’ resume and get it up to date first thing Monday morning.” *Commitment Language
Interviewer: You’re decided to get to work on that resume first thing in the week.
Client: I’ve gotta* cut back on all the chips and all that deep-fried stuff! My daughter’s having her first baby soon and I wanna be around** to be a Grandpa. My doctor says that may not be too likely if I keep it up with all the fatty foods. *Need language and **Desire Talk
Interviewer: You’ve got a real desire to experience life as a Grandpa* with your first grandchild. And – it sounds like one thing you need to do** to make that happen is reduce your intake of fried foods. *Desire Talk **Need Talk
Similarly, simple reflections can serve strategic purposes when you are working within the Focusing and Planning processes as well. The following short exercise invites you to form a simple, but strategic reflection for client statements that might be made in each of the four processes. An example is provided for you. (You get bonus points for making very short reflections here!)
Engaging
Client 1: Well, I can see that my drinking is a problem in some ways. I mean everybody else always tells me that it’s a problem. I’m a bit scared to be honest. My Dad died of alcoholism when I was just a kid.
Interviewer: “It scares you.”
Focusing
Client 2: I decided that this would be my year to get it all sorted out, but I honestly don’t know where to start. It’s crazy. There just so much on my plate right now. Taxes. Thinking about our upcoming move. Getting some money together for an RRSP. Buying a new car. And my Dad’s in the hospital and so I wonder if I should take some holiday time and fly down to see him. I worry about him. He’s getting up there in years and…. Well, you know. My kid just got diagnosed with a learning disability and I gotta get him into some special classes to see if he can make up what he missed from his reading last year. My blood sugar is through the roof and I should probably see my doctor about that ‘cause that can really get me screwed up. My wife is on my case to sit down and make a list and prioritize it. That’s how she does everything. Lists. She’s very organized that way. I don’t know, I just seem to be going in circles.
Interviewer: “Prioritizing.”
Evoking
Client 3: Well, there’s one thing I could do, I suppose. I’ve been thinking about it. Maybe I could get in with one of those counsellors at that Centre. You know, maybe call up and see what they say about all of this. They will see a person for free – but you need an appointment and that can take 2-3 weeks. Mind you, I suppose they get cancellations too, so who knows that might speed things up a bit. Yah, I could call them, but then again, maybe a person should just wait it out and see if things improve.
Interviewer: “You’re saying you could* give them a call”
*Ability Talk
Planning
Client 4: There’s no point in me talking to my husband about any of this. He’s not good at this kind of thing at all. For me, I just need someone who I have to answer to – you know like a mentor, or a coach or something. I’d have to ask around to some of my friends who have those “Accountability Partners” in their jobs. Somebody who will kick me in the butt if I don’t follow through.
Interviewer: You’d have to ask around a little.
(Begins an invitation to make plans around the “asking” task.
Try SIMPLE REFLECTIONS this week! Experiment with them. They are strategic tools and if you learn to use them effectively, can make your motivational conversations much more effective and efficient. See you next week!